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03/07/2009: "~ Thoughts on being Half-An-Orphan ~"
I'm getting a handle, sorta, on all of the mixed feelings that go with becoming half-an-orphan. Things have changed, some for better, some for worse, some just changed.....
Worse:
Mom passed Friday, February 27, 2009 at 8:00 am central time.
I couldn't call Mom to tell her how sad I was, and won't be able to call her anymore for anything.
Dad is nearly six hours away which makes one day visits practically a thing of the past (except for emergency, like the day before Mom passed).
There is enough tension at that house to make visits undesirable... that is to be expected with any major lifestyle change, but....
Communications will be limited amongst family members.
Bo won't get to play and run with Ebbie.
Dad likely won't come to visit here or preach anymore.
We won't hear Mom sing again.
Some are becoming alienated because of the demanding attitude when Lu wants relief, others because of abusive comments from the paternal unit while offering that relief.
Better:
I don't have to plan my activities around visits to Mom and Dad.
I don't have to keep in touch to make sure Dad is being taken care of.... He will be.
I won't have the expenses of the frequent visits.
I won't have to stay away from home to take care of them.
We won't have to travel to do chores at the house.
I don't have to do freebie computer work for relatives.... or spend my entire visiting time with the family working on everybody's computers.
I can make plans and know they are less likely to be interrupted or postponed.
Changed:
Avon Park: what will it be like without Mom and Dad?
Family ties: what will replace Mom's "Information Central"?
Cousins: will we ever hear from or see them again?
So, there is a bit of relief mixed with the angst mixed with the uncertainty mixed with the grief mixed with the loneliness.... and always there is the remaining question: When will I be a complete orphan?
